“Playing the long game” is just as much something a person with bad intentions would do. You have to think about these things from every angle. I would like your phone number one day, but you should only give out your address if it’s absolutely an emergency. And I hope this isn’t new information to you, but under no circumstances should you ever give out your social security number. You’ll be an idiot if you do that, even if I beg for it. With Jojo’s, I would just read a synopsis on the Jojo’s Bizarre Encyclopedia website and pick up where I left off, to save time. I’m going to do that with Jojolion, I really want to continue reading it. Now when you do go and watch Jojo’s, pay attention to the monologues of characters, and how most of them drag out episode lengths. It’s a bizarre adventure, but that’s where the suspension of disbelief ends. In episode four of Steel Ball Run, Johnny finds himself almost losing towards the end of the episode because of his monologue. Half the episode is monologues. It was really funny when my father kept pointing it out, made for a better watching experience. I get that it’s pulled from the comics, but I guess I was reading the story in my head at a “realistic” pace. And lastly, I’d like to try one of those weird meals of yours, especially if noodles are involved. It sounds good. https://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=7215654
I'm obviously not dumb enough to give out my social security number, obviously. And I can't really imagine an emergency that would require you having my address, aside from you being in mortal danger somehow. I can't really see why anyone would do that to you though. If you ask for my social security number, I'm just going to assume you've been found out or someone malicious and stupid is trying to get my information. And the issue is with synopsis is that I'll be fine reading it, but it won't really have any impact on me until I actually experience the show firsthand. I love reading, but images are just much more memorable. And now that you mentioned it, they really do have a lot of monologues in JoJo. I think part 5 had quite a few, if I remember correctly. Mostly the villain, which I can't remember the name of. It doesn't translate well into anime form at all, and just feels like they're doing it to fill out the episode length. Just be happy it isn't One Piece level pacing, I suppose. As for meals, I tend to just make something incredibly easy and filling. One good meal is ground turkey, rice, and cream of mushroom. I really like ground turkey. Cheaper than ground beef too. I've been told it's a very "white" meal, which makes sense considering how simple and seemingly bland it might be, but it's honestly really good. There's plenty of flavor, and it's all seasoned properly. Also, I've been invited to play D&D with a coworker I'm friendly with, and another one that I utterly despise, sometime in January I'm told. I used to play a lot, but that stopped ever since I lost contact with my high school/middle school friends. It was really fun, but I'm no good at roleplaying.
With being unsatisfied, I think that there are still times where you don’t fully intervene when I’m saying weird things or acting out. There’s an example or two if you go back through this thread, although more recently, say August, you did good with that. And unfortunately despite everything, I still find you even slightly suspicious. I’ll hear about dangerous real world events that happen because of relationships over the internet like this, or I’ll have a nightmare about getting caught every now and then, the dream telling me to not be with you. But it doesn’t make my father out to be a good person either. I think those dreams want me to live alone. I do want your address of phone number, but you should keep those to yourself unless it’s an emergency. Ah, anyways, those Danganronpa videos sound like fun. I’d like to get super into a role. I’m not good at acting though. Out of any character I think I’d do better with Junko, with her switching between personalities and all. With riding in the dark, I’m thinking about moving the box cutter I have from my backpack to my pocket. I’m really nervous about something bad happening to my brother or I. I am a fan of horror though. Recently I’ve become obsessed with watching videos on creepy Japanese stuff, feeling nostalgic for it. I got obsessed with it when I was twelve, really loving the Kisaragi Station creepypasta, and the nameless song that was inspired by it. I also remember really liking the song 冥路 by the same person. I remember thinking the girls in both videos were cute, and it added to my enjoyment. Today is a Jojo Friday, so I’m excited to watch another episode with my brother and father. These weekly episodes are making me want to continue reading part eight. I’ll share that I don’t like part four that much. I had way too high of expectations for it, and was disappointed upon watching. I watched almost all of it in one day, just wanting it to be over. I felt that a lot of plot points went nowhere, and that it dragged on for too long. There’s also a lot of gross humor, which I skipped part three because of, only to let out a depressed sigh early on. I did like most of part four’s characters though, I still found them entertaining. I like all three opening songs, too. Also, you telling me recently, I like that it inspired you to get into cooking. I think it’d be nice to cook something together one day, especially on a special day like this. I want to share this tetorei art, I feel that it encapsulates us well. https://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=7214777 I love you so much, Ray!!!
I'm sure there is a few examples, I truly don't know why I act that way, allowing you to talk about those sort of things. It's not like I can stop you from thinking about those things. I need to be more conscious about it. And "playing the long game" for this long just to do something bad seems like an awful waste of time if I was truly out to do something horrible. Three years is an awful long time, you know. Anyways, I'm sure I've offered to give you my phone number before, and maybe my address..? I don't know about that last part, but I know I've said my phone number for sure. And I think moving the boxcutter to your pocket could be a really good idea, as long as it's retractable. I used to be super obsessed with creepypasta videos. The NES Godzilla game one is one of my absolute favorites. I've yet to watch the new Jojo, I'll probably need to do another full rewatch before I get to Steel Ball Run, but I'll probably get filtered by Stone Ocean again. And you're absolutely right about part four, there's a ton of characters and plot lines that either go nowhere or get resolved in the same episode that they're introduced, so there's no stakes really aside from Rohan for about.. 2 episodes. Tonio was honestly a really good character, and I feel that the way his episode was handled was really good. His entire character is very fun, and I wish they expanded more on him, even if there's not a whole lot to work off of. I think he really only gets two episodes where he's actually present, I believe. I'd like to cook for you one day. Probably one of those weird meals I like to eat though. Ground turkey, alfredo sauce, and some noodles. Probably some of the best food I've tasted. I think Rei's text being in all caps is very fitting for her, being a robot and all. Again, I'll send my phone number over whenever you want. I'll obviously be a bit more hesitant about my address, but I'm sure you can understand that. Thank you for responding so quick. I love you too, Marisa. Very, very much.
Ew. A.I. images always have this nauseating look to them, I get a sick feeling in my stomach whenever I see one. That better get taken down, or replaced with art. I have to get that out of the way. I truly don’t mind you not responding immediately, I here am not responding immediately, but those negative thoughts and doubts get to me every now and then, which feels backwards. I think in reality, it’d be a little unnerving if you responded so soon. I saw this video ( https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LAf8zJy-Ju0&ra=m ) on Tuesday, and the segment at 23:41 made me think “what if I’m wrong?” But tomorrow night is our three year anniversary of being together, and sunk-cost fallacy is very real. I will still put my trust into you, I want everyone to be happy. With YouTube refreshing, I usually try to keep mental note of the video’s timestamp when I pause it. It also depends on if you’re on the app, phone web browser, or computer web browser. You could copy and paste the links on your computer, and you shouldn’t have a problem there. I’m interested in trying Nair at least once, just to try it, but I don’t think I’d want chemical burns all over my body. I like my razor. And college is going well, for the most part. Tuesdays and Thursdays have become tests of courage, with having to ride home in the pitch black dark. It’s very scary, especially with having watched a lot of horror content lately. ( Example: https://youtu.be/lKZSRBDzC9k ) I like most of my classes, but I really dislike 2D Design. It is just high school art class again. I am not and will not learn anything from this, each assignment feels disconnected from one another. It’s incoherent, and I’m constantly needing new materials for just one assignment. I really, really don’t like it. But everything else is great. I love art history, and I’m learning perspective in my Drawing One class. Tomorrow, October Ninth, will be three years of us dating. I love you, Ray. Thank you for being my girlfriend. Happy anniversary!
Sunk-cost? Is there something about me that you are unsatisfied with, if you don't mind me asking? Or is there something about me that you still find suspicious? I'm fully willing to tell you anything about myself, at this point, considering how much you already know. I think Nair is fine, just don't try to use it after shaving. Nair isn't a fan of open pores, and will do everything in its power to dig into your skin. Guess that's what happens when you essentially pour acid on your skin. Otherwise, it works really nicely. And I don't switch videos often, because I very easily get sidetracked when it comes to videos. I've been watching these multiplayer Danganronpa videos, where it's sort of like roleplay, but it's mostly just people making a murder mystery, and then, in classic Danganronpa style, having a trial about it like in the game. It's all original, and really fun to watch. Some people get really into it, like this one Junko I saw was getting really into their character once they got caught for murder, having a breakdown and everything. It made my jaw drop how much these people get into their role. Most of the videos are an hour or two long too, so they're really fun to watch or have on in the background. And riding in the dark like that sounds really fun, I personally enjoy the dark. I'm sort of confident in being able to handle myself while driving at night. That certainly sounds like art class though... I took an art class once in high school, and failed miserably because I don't have much artistic talent. Happy anniversary, Marisa!!! I love you too. I'm happy that you've chosen to stay with me.
I’ve been busy with my own stuff too. I still get worried when you don’t almost immediately respond to me, but I should be treating this more like a forum than messaging. For the past two days, I have shaved both my legs. They’re not perfect, especially around the kneecaps, that’s hard to shave, but they look so much better than when covered in hair. I feel much happier, even though I still and will always wear pants. I’m eighteen now, so I want to do things like that, I want to break out of my shell, even if it’s by force, even if I get hurt. Over the weekend, I suddenly became very inspired to make my own content, besides drawing, every creative avenue I can possibly think to go down. I feel very hopeful about it. I don’t want to put myself out there, publicly, as in, what I look like. Ashenov, for example, I can’t remember the other yuri artist that does what they actually look like. I feel, to me, that it’s a bit self centered. But I remembered yesterday, I have a design for a sona, that I’ve had in my head since I was ten years old. I still didn’t realize I was trans despite that, though. It’s not the most creative design ever, but it can work as a vessel for myself and content I make in the future. When it comes to me sending you yuri art, you don’t have to respond to any one drawing, I just know that you’ve seen them all at least once. https://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=7200632 https://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=7200270 https://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=7196789 https://dynasty-scans.com/images/40135?tag_id=5113 https://dynasty-scans.com/images/39888
I always try to respond whenever I can, and actually have something to say. My life is incredibly boring, so there's not a whole lot I can speak about. At work, they hung up a poster with what is supposed to be all of the managers of my area of work "Food and Beverage" since I do dishwashing. The issue is that it's all ai. Not a single picture of anyone was taken and put on the poster, it's just all vaguely the same person. That kind of made me annoyed when I got to work, but this isn't the first time they've churned out slop for posters. So it doesn't really surprise me anymore. I use Nair, and it usually gets all of the hair, but I think I got chemical burn from it on my arms or something. Making those weird marks on the inside of my elbow I talked about a few posts ago, with my dream with the bees and such. I'd certainly like to see more content from you, whether it be art or video essays or anything else really. I'll support it to the best of my ability. I hope, now that you're eighteen, that you can start to transition into the person you want to be. Whatever form that may be. I do always at least take a look at the art you send me, but sometimes I'm unable to look at the videos since usually I'm listening to something on my phone already, and don't want to lose progress on it. For some stupid reason, youtube has a like, 30% chance to just forget I've watched a video, and I have to find where I was at. Which is a daunting task with my awful memory. I like the last and second images you sent. I hope everything in college is going well.
Cats are really sweet, it seems like the ones at your place have terrible owners, besides you. My house has five cats, four of them kittens. Watching them beat each other up is really entertaining. Today I had my second Art History exam, which I think I did great on. I love Art History, it’s so much fun, and taking that exam gave me the same feeling I got while playing Touhou. Intense, yet really fun. I love writing the essays, too. I’m a big fan of the Octopus Flask from the Minoans. I also had a match for esports today, because I temporarily got online working on my Switch. I won three matches in a best of five, so that went good. I can definitely improve on my playing, but I think I’m alright at the game. Now, I feel really tired. I want to take a shower and go to sleep. I think this yuri art is funny, cute as well, of course! https://dynasty-scans.com/images/40101
I think the cats are fine, aside from random stupid changes my hosuemates keep making that makes the cats forget where basic things are. I'm more concerned about the dogs. My cats don't beat each other up anymore, thankfully. The two oldest get mad at each other sometimes, but that's about it. Sorry for not replying for a bit, I've just been busy with work and such. I hope you did well on your exam. If you improve too much at the game, it's gonna be like you stepping on an ant when you play against me.. But I'm glad you're improving regardless, and I hope you continue to to good on your esports matches.
That sounds really scary… I can’t put up with body horror either, even though I find relatability in it. A month or two ago, a had a nightmare where I was giving birth on a metal table in a dark, cold room, only being illuminated by an open refrigerator. It was so weird. I was thinking that I shouldn’t message you during the week of an Art History exam, as I want to spend as much time preparing as possible, with the least amount of distractions. I apologize in advance. I’m nervous for my second exam in a few days, even though I’ve really liked the art we’ve been studying. It’s so much to remember. I liked this drawing, but I would not want to be held like this. I would be scared if you did this to me. I just think it’s nice. https://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=7183875 I think I’ll finally be over my sickness tomorrow. https://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=6960728 I’ve had this song stuck in my head since last night… https://youtu.be/HUdfZP44pCA
I probably wouldn't have the strength to hold you up like that anyways, unless you were like.. stuck on the wall or something. I think it's funny. Like holding up a cat by its arms. One of the cats I have just doesn't care when I do that, he's such a sweetheart. He used to be real mean to the younger cat, but he's mellowed out a lot more now that his competition is gone. This was a while ago, but the other housemates decided to basically kick a cat out of the house. Why they did that, I have no clue. But ever since that cat got kicked out, the other cat mellowed out. Now he just wants to get loved. We have another female cat and she also loves to be loved. Even lets people rub her belly. One of my favorite cats, a black Maine Coon mixed with something else has gone missing though. It's really unfortunate, but I'm not really surprised, since they were left to the most unreliable person in the house. It sucks, but there's nothing to be done about it.
Today was a long day. A lot of moving stuff, and then it’ll all have to be moved back tomorrow. I don’t mind, I actually find myself enjoying tasks like that. What I did mind is that I caught a cold Thursday morning, and I was kind of out of it today. Better than last night, but I couldn’t move myself and carry things as fast as I had wanted to. And because I’m sick, what I had this morning was probably a fever dream, although it doesn’t seem too far off from my usual weird dreams. I would like to copy and paste what I had wrote in my notes app. It was daytime, and I was walking on a trail similar to the [real trail I ride on], but it had a road instead of a path, with sidewalks on either side. I was on the left side, walking to a building because I needed to get something. When the trail came to an intersection, I saw Ken and Ryu fighting in the middle of it while I walked by. Then, before reaching the building, I saw several Pokémon English voice actors with tables and chairs set up. A different actor every hundred of feet. I reached the building and went inside, it was a long building, going straight in one direction. It was gray, red, and had many jail cells. I reach the end and walk around to the front of a futuristic chair, looking at it diagonally. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was sitting in the chair. I walk all the way back out of the building, returning with nothing. As I was walking back through the trail, it all the Pokémon voice actors had fallen over from their chairs, and were convulsing violently. I payed no mind to them and kept walking along a beautiful sunset. Ken and Ryu were still fighting.
I had an awful dream. So, for context, I have this odd tannish spot on my inner elbow (nothing weird, its just not my normal skin color, no clue when it appeared) and in the dream, they were apparently bug nests for some sort of wasp or bee. And so I was freaking out about it, but anyone I went to said that it had to stay like that and for me to ignore it. I went to go pop it like a pimple and I saw the end of a bee, the little black and white stripes. I was immediately freaked out and forced myself awake after that. I don't really know how, I just decided that it was too much and I simply woke up. I'm not good with body horror when it comes to my own body.
Goodbye, Lara was described by, I think the director, as “not a typical yuri”. I can’t sleep with the lights on, even though I’m scared of the dark. It’s not as scary when I’m in the house that I live in. Today was the start of Jojo Fridays, did you watch the new episode of Steel Ball Run? Have you read the manga? It’s going to be so much fun watching with Brother and Father! Seeing and hearing their reactions is great. I forgot about Mrs. Robinson’s ability of hiding bugs in the eye, so it was a surprise to even me. And then thinking about everything upcoming, it’s just awesome. It might make for the happiest moments of my life. And then besides that, on Wednesday I started watching another yuri called “This Monster Wants to Eat Me”, as I’d been interested in it for some time, for a character designs, premise and depiction of depression and suicidal ideation. I’m on up to episode three, and it’s really great! Not to make you watch another anime right after, but I feel that it blows Goodbye, Lara out of the water, in my opinion. Maybe I’m judging too soon? It’s got another blonde character that I really, really, relate to. Russell from End Roll being the other, not that I can one hundred percent relate to them though. Maybe, like, ninety percent.
I haven't even completed a lot of Stone Ocean. Last I remember, they were on this airboat in a swamp with the baby thing, and I was incredibly tired, so I simply went to bed. This was a year or two ago. I don't really like Stone Ocean that much. It just isn't really my thing. I'll watch Steel Ball Run sometime, maybe after it's fully came out. I liked Part 4 mostly, that was more my speed. I liked the one stand with the chef, it sort of inspired me to cook for a time. It might've been the entire reason I took a culinary class in high school, and then subsequently failed because I hated the teacher because she was stuck up. And I'll add the other yuri to my ever growing list of anime to watch. And I'll need to either play or watch a playthrough of End Roll one of these days, considering how much you talk about it. I've been playing a somewhat new game today, called Mesmalie. It's my new obsession, if I'm being honest. I haven't completed the game, but it's quite short from what I've been told. It's fun though. Mesmer is a very funny character. I think that's all I have to say for now.
Oh, what episode are you on? That road does sound scary… But I’d have you to protect me, right? I don’t like the dark, except for my bedroom. I feel calm in here. I like this art, I’m imagining us like this after our wedding… https://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=7173579
I only now just got around to actually starting. My break days were spent mostly sleeping or doing what little I actually did for my birthday. I was kinda confused at the start, since I assumed that you wouldn't suggest an anime with a male/female relationship. And then the whole, her melting into a puddle thing confused me, but I assume that's her dying or some form of respawn/death, since I assume the prince probably wouldn't bring her back to the ocean. Maybe I'm just stupid, or overthinking it. I like to imagine the biology of fantasy species, especially when their concept of death is different from ours. Sorry for not starting on it sooner. Anyways, I would obviously be there to protect when we're on that road. I can't imagine you'd want to do an hour drive for a kinda lame mall anyways, all by yourself.... I've liked the dark ever since I got over it as a kid. I used to sleep with a lamp on at night. I'm still baffled at how 6-8 year old me managed that.
You can still respond to that big wall of text that I sent the other day. Riding home from college on Tuesdays and Thursdays because of esports have become a horror game for me, as it’s either almost or already pitch black out. I can barely see ahead of me with my scooter’s headlight. It’s really scary. Is that person up ahead? Are they moving towards or away from me? How fast are they moving? I can never know. And at dark, my mind wanders into thoughts of scary monsters, and I start vividly thinking of them as I’m riding? Is that a long legged, long necked, headless deer? No, it’s just two signs. I’ll dread riding on those days every time.
It doesn't feel right for me to respond to that message when I haven't finished watching Goodbye, Lara. I'll respond when I do that. And I honestly really like driving/riding in a car at night. What you said reminds me of a video I watched where a guy was running at these two people with one flashlight in each hand, so that he looked like a car. And then he ran towards these people walking in the middle of the road. It sounds really scary, and definitely looked scary to them, but it's funny thinking back on it. I personally enjoy the night. There's this one road on the way to the mall that is really scary at night though. The entire road is covered by a tunnel of sorts made of overhanging trees. It's spooky. One of these days, I feel like a tree is gonna swoop down and grab someone driving on that road. If they haven't already.
I’m really indecisive too. I’m glad that you were able to have an at least decent time. https://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=7167597
Thank you. I'm sorry for not texting as often as I should. I should be more active now that my break from work has ended, or ends today. Whatever you wanna call it... Since I technically go into work tomorrow (at 12 am) so "days" are a very strange concept to me when I'm working. It's just either day or night. Not having windows in my room doesn't help my perception of time either.
I’ve been thinking about you all day. I hope that you could try and make the most of it, even if it’s just sleeping. I wish I could give you a hug. I truly do love you.
I had a decent time. I went to the mall with my brother, got a new pair of fancy headphones and an anime figure from Frieren. I just wanted to treat myself after such an awful year. I'm sorry for not responding to your message. I would've liked to buy more, but I'm really indecisive when it comes to actually buying something. I just like being in person when it comes to viewing and purchasing products. I love you too.
Oh… I’m sorry that bad things keep happening to you on your birthday. I don’t know what to say. I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, but clearly you’re not happy. I wish there was anything I could do to make to feel better. I love you, Ray.
something has to be wrong with me, or something about me. nothing ever good happens on my birthday. a few years back, my family's house almost got robbed on my birthday. today, my brother was robbed, on my birthday. id rather my birthday simply be forgotten and uncelebrated. i truly wonder if its something wrong with me, or if ive done something to someone to make things this way. ive only ever been happy on my birthdays when i was below 10, because then i didnt need to worry about anything. i dont understand why things are this way.
It’s not perfect, I’m mixed on the ending, but I think that it was a really great show. I hadn’t watched an anime while it was airing in so long, it was a nice feeling. Tell me what you think about the ending when you finish watching, and there’s so much more anime that I like, that I want you to watch. But please take your time. I complain about it often, but I don’t like that I keep wanting to change my name, even though “Marisa” is perfect for me, or that I keep getting upset because of what made me realize that I was trans, or that it could’ve been sooner. I keep imagining these alternate scenarios and going under alternate names and then I keep complaining about it to you. I’m sure you’re more tired of it than me. I think that I could rid myself of these thoughts if I actually go through everything that could’ve made me realize I was trans sooner, like reading all of WataMote for example. I think that learning how to play as Bridget in Guilty Gear XXAC+ would genuinely make me feel better about myself and a more happier person. I know that these annoying thoughts can at the very least not leave my brain. All that fetish stuff just stopped, without me even realizing it. Have you noticed? I didn’t until recently. And the thoughts still haunt me, as they have since I was little, but I don’t dwell on them as much, and I most certainly don’t tell you about them anymore. I’m hoping it can stay that way when we live together, but I worry that my brain may regress due to the whole situation we’re in. I’ve had a long day. I had trouble focusing on literally anything this afternoon, and then my scooter lost its battery on the ride home, so I had to walk for around thirty minutes. Not that I mind, I’m just exhausted… https://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=7165449